Caretaking the Subject of Steve Guttenberg's New Book

Steve Guttenberg has a successful movie career, starring in such films as "Diner, "Police Academy," "Short Circuit" and "Three Men and a Baby," and television shows including "Ballers" and "Veronica Mars."

His films have grossed billions of dollars and he has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Recently, he put his successful career aside and became a caretaker for his father. The experience is the subject of his newest book, Time to Thank: Caregiving for My Hero.

He recently spoke about the book in a podcast presented by Positive Aging.

Guttenberg described his father as "an extraordinary guy in a regular life," and himself as "a regular guy in an extraordinary life."

With the support of his family, he went to Hollywood "to become a movie star"

"There's nothing like having a group of people around you that love you and care about you and want you to succeed. I was very lucky.

"I left home at 17 to go to Hollywood, and who would let their kid now leave at 17 years old? Not many people.

"So I went out there and gave myself two weeks to become a movie star, and then I was going to college if it didn't work out. Then I got a commercial, a Kentucky Fried Chicken commercial, and then I got a movie and another movie.

"It was pretty incredible. I got very very lucky," he said."When you get lucky, things happen."

Years later, however, circumstances led him back home.

"It was quite a surprise when I found out that my dad was having some problems with his kidneys, and I didn't want to really accept it," he said. "I didn't want to think that my dad had any weakness in him.

"We didn't go to the nephrologist (kidney doctor) until we really had to, and that was probably a mistake. We didn't know how badly is his kidneys were functioning, and when we finally go to the nephrologist, she gives us the disappointing news that he probably will have to start dialysis."

The process was a difficult one for the Steve Guttenberg's family.

"When one person gets sick, the whole family gets sick," he said. "You have to consciously remember that you're doing something life sustaining, that you're keeping this person alive.

"Humor is everything," Guttenberg said. "You always have to make some jokes. Try to watch comedies while you're doing the dialysis. Always have something good to do after dialysis. Usually people are very tired, but you could go out to lunch or you could go home and watch something on television that is funny and uplifting. Eat something you like, that is within the renal diet of course.

"For caregivers, your mental health is very important. You're spending so much time with sick people and it's very difficult."

He was asked what kind of a plan he had for taking care of his father.

"It's really not much of a plan because you don't know what's going to hit you," he said. "I think the plan is that 'I'll be there for whatever you need.' That's the big plan. I don't know which way we're going to get attacked but I'll be there and I'm not going anywhere, and I think that's what it really is all about."

He also talks about grief in the book.

"Grief has its own way with you, I really denied that my father was dying even though I knew he was dying and the doctors told me that, but I denied it. I didn't want to say those words," he said.

"The grief has been tough for me, but I'm much better now. It's been almost two years."